A Rubbish Email
Dear Name.
This was how a recent email was addressed to me.
Despite the clunky opening, it grabbed me. This was a newsletter I was subscribed to.
Or was it???
Was it an elaborate hoax? Was it a typo designed to pique my interest? Was I Name? Was Name me? Had I somehow found myself inside the inbox of someone else (someone else called Name)?
Many, many hours later - having done my best Pepe Silvia impression - I scrolled down to read the rest of the email.
I skimmed. I sighed. It was meant for me but it wasn’t for me. I deleted it. The end.
And that’s it, isn’t it? It’s the same sad story for many of us when a new email graces us with its presence.
This is hardly a revolutionary observation:
what’sthedealwithjunkemailsaboutsizepillsformyjunk?
Someone reading an email, probably. And it’s probably crap.
The difference in my case was that this was a newsletter that I had signed up for. I was already interested. But I wanted to be wooed. Wined and dined with words. Made a fuss of. Treated like a person, with a name. Not just Name.
It’s a skill because our attention spans are so short. I mean, if you made it past that long bit in italics then good for you.
Or…good for me.
Because whatever you’re writing - emails, blogs, that first message in “the big group chat” to a bunch of strangers that have no frame of reference beyond your picture, which happens to be a blurry image of you in a rubber ring on a lazy river in a Greek water-park, and that must mean you’re either a freewheeling entrepreneur who owns a chain of amusement parks across the Mediterranean, trying to appear humble or a bit of a prat - it has to be interesting.
In fact, let’s stick true to form and stretch out that water-park metaphor.
You want your writing to take your reader on a journey.
In emails, a lazy river might not be the best method given the deluge of competition for our eyeballs.
But hold on - there’s a ride called THE DOMIN8R that’s higher than Olympus and promises to send you searing into the water below in record time. Could that be the way to go?
The first result in an image library for ‘waterslide’ or a visual representation of a crap email? You decide.
Well, maybe. Or maybe the email equivalent of that would be a subject title that’s packed with emojis and says “CONGRADULASHUNS”. In other words, likely to fall foul of the savvy reader’s risk assessment.
Your content needs to be guided by your reader.
It applies to all of your content but in those precious moments where a corporate entity reaches out to the wider world and says ‘hey’, it really matters to have a coherent strategy and a consistent tone of voice.
Some people will want a lazy river, some will want a thrill ride, and most will probably want something between these two extremes.
Surprise, interest, intrigue.
These elements are easy to generate but harder to kindle and maintain. Heck, I found ‘Dear Name’ jarring enough that it made me read on, but then I stopped, deleted, and continued to thrive.
Email marketing is a crucial touchpoint for your business. If you bombard your customers with words they don’t want to read, then you’re wasting time and money and potentially damaging your brand. If you don’t say anything, you’re missing out on all the fun (see image below).
This person is enjoying their email so much that they are taking a picture of it to share with loved ones! Now that’s an email.